Is It Even Worth It?
by jj-ackfrost
Summary: Jack couldn't decide if this relationship was healthy or not, all they did was argue and fight. Sure they always made up, but they couldn't go on like this forever, it was heartbreaking.


_"It was one of those nights; you know those ones_ _where you stay up _

_writing because your emotions just won't let go of you? /sigh_

_You can also consider this a continuation of 'How It Started'_

_Hope you enjoy~"_

* * *

"Bloody hell, Jack!" The Pooka rose in anger, once again surrounded by his frozen eggs. Jack fumbled back, gripping his staff until his knuckles went white and let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry, it was an accident…" He murmured softly, he wished Aster wouldn't get so angry like this every time. It wasn't his fault that the underground warren lacked the proper wind to come in for any kind of safe landing on his own, usually causing his staff to fire at will in his panic.

Aster slowly released his clenched fists and looked over to his lover, ever since they confessed to each other something wasn't right with him. He couldn't figure it out, and that is what drove him mad the most. What was it about this boy that had him so jumpy, on edge, so easy to rile up. Of course it was an accident he knew that, it was July, it's not like he even _needed_ the eggs for anything.

"Yeah, it's always a bloody accident!" he spat then stared at Jack for a while, softening his muscles slowly as those tear brimmed blue eyes poured into his. He hated it when Jack cried, especially when it was his own fault, he couldn't believe how rude he was to his lover. He took a step towards Jack, putting his paw out to touch him but was taken back when the Sprite moved away from him, shifting the blue eyes away from sight. "Jack," The boy turned away, reluctant to say anything or look at Aster, so he repeated himself, "Jack…"

Jack turned fully and started to walk away, prepared to never come back as the tears spilled over his cheeks but Aster was too quick. The Pooka gripped Jack's arm to keep him there but didn't turn him around, afraid of what he might see but the almost silent sobbing coming from his lover told him enough. "Please don't go… I didn' mean…" he was shaking, his hands, his voice, his heart. "I didn' mean what I said, Frostbite." Jack didn't say anything, his feet shifted slightly and he tapped his staff against the grass gently a few times as the Pooka spoke, then nothing. The boy didn't make any movement, Aster thought he had stopped breathing he was still for so long.

"Look at me, mate!" He gripped the teen's arm tighter and turned him so they were facing each other, Aster couldn't help but take a step back from him in shock at the devastating look on his lovers face. He had never seen Jack like this, he always laughed through his tears in the past. Aster wondered if maybe this was the last straw, obviously Jack wouldn't sit there forever and let him yell like that all the time. The Pooka's body hunched over suddenly realizing what this might mean, but there was no way in hell he would accept it without a fight.

Aster stood up quickly and pulled Jack into his warm embrace, resting his paw on the back of the Sprite's head. "I'm sorry Jack, this is all my fault, but I'm beggin' ya…you can't leave me…" The Pooka could barely feel the tiny, still body against his, he gripped at Jack's hoodie at the small of the Sprite's back. Jack soon dropped his staff and wrapped his arms around Aster, keeping his eyes hidden in the fur. Aster knew his lover was crying, but there was nothing he could say, he knew what he had said over the course of the past couple months could never be undone. There were so many occasions that he burned with anger and hatred, many times when Jack ran away and didn't return for days. Aster knew that this time was just a repeat, something he desperately wished he could snap out of the endless loop.

"Please say something Jack," Aster cooed soothingly to the boy, brushing his hair gently with his paw as he continued cautiously, "…I love ya, even if I don't show it so well. I love ya, Frostbite." The Pooka rested his chin against the top of Jack's head, encasing his whole torso with his furry arms wanting to hold his cool body as close and safe as possible. Aster felt empty, like his heart had been ripped out and Jack was right there holding it, deciding whether to give it back or not.

Jack gripped at the Pooka's fur, his sobbing becoming audible as he failed at mumbling words through his tears. Aster leaned back and looked at Jack; he couldn't do anything but frown at the frosted tears on his lovers' cheeks as he wiped them away carefully. The teen closed his eyes, a few tears seeping over as Aster got rid of them. "No reason to cry, Jack…if you'd be happier leavin' me…than I understand, I can't be selfish." Even though a soft smile met Aster's lips he was torn, destroyed by his own words; he wished deeply that Jack would deny his atrocious thoughts right away but the longer he stayed silent the more the Pooka panicked.

"I…don't w-want that…" Jack stuttered through his un-steadied breaths, his eyes glimmering from his tears, he looked up at Aster as he continued, "but…is this e-even worth it?" Aster's mouth opened, a soft whine escaping his lips immediately after Jack spoke. He didn't notice but his paws tightened around the teen's shoulders as he stood there in shock. The Pooka shook Jack once, almost knocking him back as he spoke, "Of course it is! We just started tryin', we can't give up yet! I kno' I can be a hard ass but its cause I lo…" his voice slowly trailed off, thinking of what he really wanted to say to the Sprite. He didn't want to give up on Jack, but he wanted Jack to be happy. He didn't want Jack to be alone anymore, but if being with him was too troublesome then was it even worth it?

"B-Bunny, I can't ke–" he was cut off by a kiss, a hard yet gentle kiss. One that he felt the passion and urgency from, a kiss that left him breathless and heartbroken; he didn't know how to feel anymore. Jack was upset with Aster but he still loved him. The Pooka turned Jack around and pulled him close so the teen's back was against his chest, Aster put his head down next to Jack's and spoke softly. "Now listen here Jack, this is hard for ya I know, but this is hard for me too. I thought for hundreds of thousands of years that I would never find a mate and I can't apologize enough for how we treated ya in the beginning but now all I know is that I love ya and nobody goin' to tell me otherwise. I…I will do anything, anything to keep ya here, to keep ya tryin' cause I know we can make this work…I believe in you, Jack. I believe in _us_."

Jack couldn't even comprehend what Aster was saying, he was blown away by his words causing his childish sobbing to return. The Pooka flinched and quickly reached in front of the Sprite, gently wiping the tears away as they fell, hoping these ones were happy tears for the sake of his sanity. Aster froze when Jack reached up and grabbed his arms, holding them against his chilled body as he breathed slowly. It took a lot for Jack to find the words in his throat, "I believe in us too, Aster, I do now."

The Pooka huffed a sigh of happiness and he smiled, clutching to the boy desperately in victory. He was content that he was able to tell his lover how he truly felt and more importantly that they were accepted, accepted and returned. Jack turned around smoothly in Aster's arms and slowly smiled, finally something that was familiar about the Sprite had returned. Jack slowly inched onto his toes and planted a soft, affectionate kiss on Aster's lips who gladly returned the loving gesture. This was indeed, worth it.


End file.
